Stop Dying You A-Holes!

Death comes for us all, as the saying goes, but if you live in this town, you better not die because... its illegal.

Right when you think you've heard everything, along comes a Brazillian mayor who wants to outlaw death.

Mayor Roberto Pereira da Silva's proposal to the Town Council asks residents to "take good care of your health in order not to die" and warns that "infractors will be held responsible for their acts."

The bill, which sets no penalty for passing away, is meant to protest a federal law that has barred a new or expanded cemetery in Biritiba Mirim, a town of 28,000 people 45 miles east of Sao Paulo.

"Of course the bill is laughable, unconstitutional, and will never be approved," said Gilson Soares de Campos, an aide to the mayor. "But can you think of a better marketing strategy?"

I can. How about not scaring the hell out of the tourists who fear fines should their number come up?